So, What is Trauma?
Does Trauma Apply to Everyone?
When people hear the word “trauma” an initial reaction may be to think of trauma in the dictionary sense. That is “a life threatening or overwhelming event where one struggled to maintain a sense of safety.” This single incident idea of trauma does not happen to everyone, and therefore many people disregard the idea of “trauma” being relevant to them.
Broadening the Definition of Trauma
As we broaden what the definition of the experience of trauma, we can start to explore how it applies to many people and may frame other life circumstances or upbringing. For example, the environment we grew up in can have a trauma element in it if we lacked the nurture needed or felt emotionally disconnected from a parent figure. These “traumas” are more subtle and more closely related to the idea of “complex trauma” or the repeated pattern of trauma-related behaviors. This is much harder to identify and be aware of at face value. We may require the safety of a therapy office to even allow ourselves to explore sensitive matters such as these. When we start to explore these ideas and how they relate to ourselves, we may find certain “traumatic” themes that come up from our life experience and how we learned to cope or react to similar life experiences. We may also learn how our “trauma” informed our relationships and the way we relate to the world as a whole.
Why Bother Digging into the Past?
This explains the reason for wanting to explore these ideas in the first place. Because why bother to dig into our past emotional experiences unless there was some sort of benefit? The above idea explains that by understanding ourselves and how we react or relate to others, we can choose to act in a different way to similar situations in the future. This could mean being more open to new friendships or finding attraction and connection with a partner that is emotionally better for us. The rewards that come from therapy at times can be hard to put a finger on, especially for those that have never personally gone through therapy. But for those that have, they find themselves setting better boundaries; choosing what they want from life; and responding differently than they would have previously in emotionally charged situations. This in turn reduces anxiety and increases emotional attunement towards feelings like love, joy, and sadness - a healthy emotion.
Conclusion
Exploring ourselves and our personal “traumas” only helps us to experience life more fully now. It frees us from the past and the emotional energy tied to it, and allows us to move forward intentionally with the choices we make. Understanding that through healing emotionally we can learn better to trust, feel safe with our feelings, and deepen our connection to those closest to us in our lives.