The Struggle Between Self-Worth and Connection to Others

The greatest challenge of this generation is our ability to connect with others in an authentic way.

Feeling disconnected from others is one of the greatest drivers for anxiety, depression, and unhappiness. In a world that is so “connected”, people are craving more authentic connection and not always receiving it. Loneliness is on the rise and has steadily increased in the past ten years. Many of us choose to spend time alone instead going out with others or feel when they do go out that they are disconnected to those around them.

A large driver behind loneliness and disconnection is sourced in people and society’s feelings surrounding self-worth. When people feel negatively about themselves, they are less likely to reach out to others or be vulnerable – the prerequisite for connection. Alternatively, others overcompensate with feelings of low self-worth by acting overly confident (narcissistic) and distancing themselves from others in that way. Regardless of the reason, people are finding themselves at a distance focusing on external conversations keeping away from the vulnerability needed to truly connect.

With a strong focus on independence and being “your own person” in Western culture this idea is driven home even more. This “I can do it on my own, I don’t need others” may stem from a place of being scared to be vulnerable and ask for help. Our generational trauma causes damage to our self-worth causing many to protect their ego and preventing them from asking for help. In reality, what we really need as a culture is more genuine connectedness. An ability to be vulnerable, ask for help, express pain/hardship in a healthy way; and find connection in shared experiences.

Our world is slowly moving in this direction, but more is necessary. If we don’t want to do this, then maybe our children will see this need. Children growing up in a “disconnected-connected” generation, maybe they will see the value of vulnerability. They will teach us how to find self-worth and feel safe to risk vulnerability for the sake of connection.