Perfectionism and the Desire for Love/Validation

Perfectionism feels like we are doing the right thing.

We aim to do the best at what we are trying to accomplish. This is a great quality until we are overcome with the need to maintain that perfection all the time. This pressure may cause us to avoid tasks or begin new projects that involve risk or have a chance at failure.

Perfectionism can prevent us from doing the very things we want most out of life.

Allowing ourselves the space to embrace our humanity and the beauty of imperfection can make all the difference. Many times, as children, we may have felt the need to do the right thing or “be perfect” to receive love/validation from our parents. Once a well-meaning and necessary feeling now takes on a life of its own. We feel that if "we are not smart enough, pretty enough, successful enough," we will not receive the love/validation we need. This leaves us vulnerable to external feelings surrounding hardship/failure, a natural and inevitable part of life.

Taking the time to do your own work and find self-love and compassion can make all the difference.

Does perfectionism hold you back? How do you work through these feelings?